As I listened almost everyday this week to the now patient, now irritated, now angry voice of the wife of this gent who has lost his past, it came to me again that memories are too precious to leave unwritten.
Like a little boy lost, one day he will question how, when, and where they met, then suddenly gets a flash of memory that puts everything in place for him.
As she has done countless times in this past twelve years for him, she goes over every detail of many events in their sixty-five years of marriage.
Often he will recall a name of a brother or neighbor and some event he does remember, then wants to discuss it in detail with her as though she was not there herself.
Most days when not staring vacantly out the patio door while in his swivel recliner, he asks me, as I go about the kitchen work, if I were "raised in these parts, ever picked cotton, lived on a farm, or raised a garden. Plus he is sure glad I am "fixn' vittles".
Then he will ramble off on his childhood of farm chores and life in general as he knew it in the early part of the last century. Being ninety-one years old put him growing up square in the middle of the horse & buggy days. He speaks often of the farm labor and how grueling it was to do vital-to-life farm chores before going off to the distant school. The oft quoted old saw about "walking five miles in the snow to school" was reality to him.
He goes through the family history and intersperses that with comments on the sorry state of
"today's youth".
Madame, as he calls his wife, is visibly worn from this constant grating against her sanity. Being nearly eight-four and in failing health, she loses it with him once and a while and has to retreat to her bedroom to lay down and rest not only the body but her mind and voice as well.
I can take up some of the slack for her but of course she must, as all Alzheimer's spouses, bear the main brunt of the agony of watching the fading of his memory.
The worst part is when he doesn't remember that she is his wife, which for this particular patient has not occurred but twice in the last twelve years since he was diagnosed.
There are many flashes of recognition on his face when he chuckles at something, makes a face behind her back when she is in a full nagging storm or frowns at a negative statement that lets me know that he still "gets it".
Sensibly, both no longer drive though Madame remarks once and a while that they might just go up to KYC for lunch on a Sunday when they are alone, but hasn't done that yet.
Understandably, the grown children of this couple worry about them continuing to live in their own home but realize that they are still capable of this for now as long as they have help.
Since this fellow lost his right leg below the knee when he was with Patton's fifth armored division in Germany, the Va sends a lady to help with him every day for two hours in the afternoon. She gets their supper and tends to his needs such as toenail trimming (only five in his case) and personal needs with the prosthetic leg which occasionally needs a bolt tightened on the ankle, plus other chores as well as doing some exercise therapy with Madame.
We went to eat fish one day last week and he was puzzled by the amber colored iced tea glasses that were put on the table saying somewhat peevishly that the tea was too "strong". Madame gave up trying to explain that and then he felt slighted that there wasn't enough ice in the glasses which of course we remedied at once.
Then when the fish dinner came I watched as he repeatedly salted the whole plate starting with the french fries. I tried to hide the salt but anger flashed across his face when he couldn't find it and of course then he complained about the lousy taste.
His daughter related that they had tried in the past to take them out to dinner but he would order coffee and get mad unless it was boiling hot, then forget about it after putting in cream and sugar and get agitated when he discovered it had cooled off and would make a scene with the waitress about that as well as other things he didn't understand and refused to eat such as the barbeque topping on the meatloaf which he vowed was "burnt" because it was dark looking.
So now they have hired a cook.
Me.
The lady who has been driving a truck for the last twenty or so years is now having to learn all over again how to be a housekeeper and think up new and exciting dishes to please the palates of these two sugar hooked individuals. I am stunned that they are not diabetic as much sugar as they consume.
To be continued...
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
...And along came a spider...
Another exciting week in the bag with the folks.
Had their daughters & a son in to visit with all being concerned with the number of ticks getting into the house via the little dog who picks them up when taken out for a "leak".
No one had treated the huge yard this year and we were finding them around the gent's chair quite a bit.
Not wanting to expose the folks to tick fever, especially the 91 year old, they spread tick granules all around the area where the gent walks the dog.
Now Madame is in a regular froth to keep the dogs feet clean lest the little darling lick up a grain or two of poison so a large sign was posted on the door stating "WASH BABY'S FEET'.
Naturally he mostly ignores it and she gets really upset with him for forgetting this ironclad rule, never mind that he is forgetting most things nowadays.
Made for a lively week even though she is getting weaker and really hurting with her arthritis.
I found a large wolf spider in their storeroom so sprayed in there but am having a royal battle with the darn critters at my house.
I can no longer go out the door after dark without swatting down a web first else it gets tangled in my hair and the excited spider really pisses his pants thinking he or she has really glommed onto a big one.
I half expect to be wrapped and hanging one of these days unless I can get myself to the poison center to get some spray.
Theres another thing...the youngest granddaughter has a thing for spiders, especially the garden spider known as a banana. She has in all these years of living here, taken great delight in catching bugs for these ungrateful creatures who still don't welcome her trying to pet them.
She has managed to touch them now and them so as to fully enjoy the violent swinging of the web that ensues.
She reacts almost the same when I talk of spraying for these varmints but now...she has moved away...heh heh heh.
She lovingly protected the blasted egg sacks all winter and now there is a bountiful harvest of little baby banana's all along the porch and last nite I went out in back to water and they had barricaded the back door with webs. GAAAK!
I really can't complain about her too much as I am no slouch about letting cobwebs collect in the house. After all they catch mosquito's, I have reasoned and one or two are at least fifteen years old.
One day I guess I will have to sweep them down but oh well...no hurry, they will keep. Plus when one does housework for a living as I do now, its like the shoe cobbler's kids having no shoes...you don't want to clean your own house after doing someone else's.
Anyway, I am so far out in the country that I don't get much company especially after having no social life from being on the road for twenty some odd years.
It's really getting annoying though when the inconsiderate spiders start building a web on me when I sit on the porch...that alone may end their big party.
Had their daughters & a son in to visit with all being concerned with the number of ticks getting into the house via the little dog who picks them up when taken out for a "leak".
No one had treated the huge yard this year and we were finding them around the gent's chair quite a bit.
Not wanting to expose the folks to tick fever, especially the 91 year old, they spread tick granules all around the area where the gent walks the dog.
Now Madame is in a regular froth to keep the dogs feet clean lest the little darling lick up a grain or two of poison so a large sign was posted on the door stating "WASH BABY'S FEET'.
Naturally he mostly ignores it and she gets really upset with him for forgetting this ironclad rule, never mind that he is forgetting most things nowadays.
Made for a lively week even though she is getting weaker and really hurting with her arthritis.
I found a large wolf spider in their storeroom so sprayed in there but am having a royal battle with the darn critters at my house.
I can no longer go out the door after dark without swatting down a web first else it gets tangled in my hair and the excited spider really pisses his pants thinking he or she has really glommed onto a big one.
I half expect to be wrapped and hanging one of these days unless I can get myself to the poison center to get some spray.
Theres another thing...the youngest granddaughter has a thing for spiders, especially the garden spider known as a banana. She has in all these years of living here, taken great delight in catching bugs for these ungrateful creatures who still don't welcome her trying to pet them.
She has managed to touch them now and them so as to fully enjoy the violent swinging of the web that ensues.
She reacts almost the same when I talk of spraying for these varmints but now...she has moved away...heh heh heh.
She lovingly protected the blasted egg sacks all winter and now there is a bountiful harvest of little baby banana's all along the porch and last nite I went out in back to water and they had barricaded the back door with webs. GAAAK!
I really can't complain about her too much as I am no slouch about letting cobwebs collect in the house. After all they catch mosquito's, I have reasoned and one or two are at least fifteen years old.
One day I guess I will have to sweep them down but oh well...no hurry, they will keep. Plus when one does housework for a living as I do now, its like the shoe cobbler's kids having no shoes...you don't want to clean your own house after doing someone else's.
Anyway, I am so far out in the country that I don't get much company especially after having no social life from being on the road for twenty some odd years.
It's really getting annoying though when the inconsiderate spiders start building a web on me when I sit on the porch...that alone may end their big party.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Update
Lots of computer problems this last few weeks. Takes forever to get anything loaded and by the time I do, I am out of the mood to expound on anything at all.
Its been interesting getting acquainted with the folks I am working for.
The Lady is a sweet 83 year old who has been coping with her 91 year old Alzheimer's husband for about ten years now.
Needless to say, she gets a little short tempered with him from time to time though he is generally pretty easy going and good natured and other than repeating himself alot, seems pretty normal.
They begin the day with a couple of glasses of Sunny D,(calcium added), and either cheese danish or toast & jelly for breakfast along with about a dozen pills each. They require coleslaw for lunch each day and her recipe is(for me) to grate the cabbage and carrots, add a layer of sugar, enough bread & butter pickle juice to make it soupy and mix in mayonnaise. Otherwise I can fix meatloaf, chicken breasts or hamburger macaroni and green beans or creamed corn as long as I add sugar to all.
If I don't get enough therein, they ask for the sugar bowl and add more.
Then, of course they require dessert and unless it is forthcoming, he gets really mad and fires the cook.
That iced tea had better be just right too or the eyebrows furrow up and a storm brews.
I am astounded that neither has diabetes or high blood pressure.
The gentleman lost his right leg below the knee while serving with General Patton's army in Europe during WWll and when he returned to the states, was grossly dissatisfied with the type of wooden leg he was forced to wear.
After much pain and aggravation he undertook to redesign the leg and landed himself a job with a local limb company with the resulting work. He spent 35 years doing that and when he retired, he was asked to return because of the good quality work he had done.
Meantime he lucked onto a fellow who had one hundred acres close to town that was for sale for forty dollars an acre. He has subsequently sold off portions of said land for quite tidy sums and the place in the country has now become part of the town.
He grew up picking cotton, as well as doing other farm chores so it was natural that he and "Madame" as he lovingly calls her, raised most all of their food for years and years.
He remarked the other day that he had a hard time getting used to "town food" but now of course prefers it, as long as it is coated liberally with sugar.
"Madame" sees to it that he gets plenty of exercise by telling him to go put out the bird feeder, which he obediently does, only to make him go take it in again when the wascally squirrels come to get their share. This is repeated in the course of a morning probably about three or four times.
She gets her exercise getting up to remind him to put the feeder out when he forgets and sits down in the porch swing. I think sometimes he doesn't really forget but looks for relief from the nagging.
Both of them give it up in the afternoon though and go take naps.
He has to remove his leg to get comfortable in bed either for a nap and at night. So he understandably is slow to come from the bedroom upon arising.
THE DOG.
Madame has a small dog which is reputed to be a cross of a papillion & cocker spaniel which is the most hyper dog I have ever encountered. She is very pretty and a good watchdog for them. And, everyday is a new day cause I am a stranger each morning when I arrive amid the barking and running around plus earnest attempts to nip at my heels which only subsides when he gets a swatter or newspaper after her.
Occasionally, out of the blue she will erupt in a frenzy of a screaming barking fit and try to bite whoever happens to get up out of a chair, especially him and last month she took about a fifty cent piece size chunk of skin out of his arm which was a long time healing.
But Madame is madly in love with this dog even to the point of allowing her to pee and poop all over the expensive WHITE carpet. The couple's daughters bought an expensive steam cleaner for this purpose and which has to be used about every other day.
Madame sends the Gent out about every two or three hours to walk the dog to avoid this but he generally sits down in the swing or doesn't let the dog have enough time to do her job.
The dog can do this quite freely but the cook must appear each day in spotless clothes and socks as well as all other things in the house much be just so, even to the correct positioning of the dust ruffle on Madame's bed. Beautiful home, lovely furniture, expensive carpet, drapes, bedspreads and spotless kitchen.
The reason for this is that several years ago the stress of coping with her husband got her so depressed that the family was quite worried about her. They got the dog from the pound to hopefully cheer her up and it did work. She loves it dearly and pets and fusses over her "Baby" continually so the therapy worked and that is worth putting up with the dog's bad habits.
She evidently had lost the will to live, but now dotes on the dog, so it is good for her.
The V A sends a nurse caretaker to their house every afternoon to see after him and she did a good job of getting the bite wound healed up. She also keeps watch to check him for vitals and helps with adjusting his leg if it gets out of kilter.
I am still getting used to being on my feet much more than I used to be so when I get home around one thirty in the afternoon I spent about three hours on the couch either reading or napping.
Quite a change for me from the demands of an all day and half the night drive to get a load delivered that the receiver didn't know was coming, forgot he ordered, didn't want it anyway and is thoroughly pissed at having to get it unloaded the same day it got there.
I am still having some problems with my fallen metatarsal on my left foot . Guess that is old age creeping up on me. Drat! had hoped to hide behind the door from it but it is worming it's way into my life in spite of my trying to laugh at it.
Oh well, might as well laugh, doesn't do any good to cry...just makes more wrinkles.
Its been interesting getting acquainted with the folks I am working for.
The Lady is a sweet 83 year old who has been coping with her 91 year old Alzheimer's husband for about ten years now.
Needless to say, she gets a little short tempered with him from time to time though he is generally pretty easy going and good natured and other than repeating himself alot, seems pretty normal.
They begin the day with a couple of glasses of Sunny D,(calcium added), and either cheese danish or toast & jelly for breakfast along with about a dozen pills each. They require coleslaw for lunch each day and her recipe is(for me) to grate the cabbage and carrots, add a layer of sugar, enough bread & butter pickle juice to make it soupy and mix in mayonnaise. Otherwise I can fix meatloaf, chicken breasts or hamburger macaroni and green beans or creamed corn as long as I add sugar to all.
If I don't get enough therein, they ask for the sugar bowl and add more.
Then, of course they require dessert and unless it is forthcoming, he gets really mad and fires the cook.
That iced tea had better be just right too or the eyebrows furrow up and a storm brews.
I am astounded that neither has diabetes or high blood pressure.
The gentleman lost his right leg below the knee while serving with General Patton's army in Europe during WWll and when he returned to the states, was grossly dissatisfied with the type of wooden leg he was forced to wear.
After much pain and aggravation he undertook to redesign the leg and landed himself a job with a local limb company with the resulting work. He spent 35 years doing that and when he retired, he was asked to return because of the good quality work he had done.
Meantime he lucked onto a fellow who had one hundred acres close to town that was for sale for forty dollars an acre. He has subsequently sold off portions of said land for quite tidy sums and the place in the country has now become part of the town.
He grew up picking cotton, as well as doing other farm chores so it was natural that he and "Madame" as he lovingly calls her, raised most all of their food for years and years.
He remarked the other day that he had a hard time getting used to "town food" but now of course prefers it, as long as it is coated liberally with sugar.
"Madame" sees to it that he gets plenty of exercise by telling him to go put out the bird feeder, which he obediently does, only to make him go take it in again when the wascally squirrels come to get their share. This is repeated in the course of a morning probably about three or four times.
She gets her exercise getting up to remind him to put the feeder out when he forgets and sits down in the porch swing. I think sometimes he doesn't really forget but looks for relief from the nagging.
Both of them give it up in the afternoon though and go take naps.
He has to remove his leg to get comfortable in bed either for a nap and at night. So he understandably is slow to come from the bedroom upon arising.
THE DOG.
Madame has a small dog which is reputed to be a cross of a papillion & cocker spaniel which is the most hyper dog I have ever encountered. She is very pretty and a good watchdog for them. And, everyday is a new day cause I am a stranger each morning when I arrive amid the barking and running around plus earnest attempts to nip at my heels which only subsides when he gets a swatter or newspaper after her.
Occasionally, out of the blue she will erupt in a frenzy of a screaming barking fit and try to bite whoever happens to get up out of a chair, especially him and last month she took about a fifty cent piece size chunk of skin out of his arm which was a long time healing.
But Madame is madly in love with this dog even to the point of allowing her to pee and poop all over the expensive WHITE carpet. The couple's daughters bought an expensive steam cleaner for this purpose and which has to be used about every other day.
Madame sends the Gent out about every two or three hours to walk the dog to avoid this but he generally sits down in the swing or doesn't let the dog have enough time to do her job.
The dog can do this quite freely but the cook must appear each day in spotless clothes and socks as well as all other things in the house much be just so, even to the correct positioning of the dust ruffle on Madame's bed. Beautiful home, lovely furniture, expensive carpet, drapes, bedspreads and spotless kitchen.
The reason for this is that several years ago the stress of coping with her husband got her so depressed that the family was quite worried about her. They got the dog from the pound to hopefully cheer her up and it did work. She loves it dearly and pets and fusses over her "Baby" continually so the therapy worked and that is worth putting up with the dog's bad habits.
She evidently had lost the will to live, but now dotes on the dog, so it is good for her.
The V A sends a nurse caretaker to their house every afternoon to see after him and she did a good job of getting the bite wound healed up. She also keeps watch to check him for vitals and helps with adjusting his leg if it gets out of kilter.
I am still getting used to being on my feet much more than I used to be so when I get home around one thirty in the afternoon I spent about three hours on the couch either reading or napping.
Quite a change for me from the demands of an all day and half the night drive to get a load delivered that the receiver didn't know was coming, forgot he ordered, didn't want it anyway and is thoroughly pissed at having to get it unloaded the same day it got there.
I am still having some problems with my fallen metatarsal on my left foot . Guess that is old age creeping up on me. Drat! had hoped to hide behind the door from it but it is worming it's way into my life in spite of my trying to laugh at it.
Oh well, might as well laugh, doesn't do any good to cry...just makes more wrinkles.
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